Shallowness

So I talk all the time about being hussled and people trying to rip me off day after day. And like I said, I normally just ignore these people all together. But yesterday I found myself in new territory. I had just gotten off the Belmont stop, it was maybe one in the afternoon and it was just a gorgeous day. I was in a remarkably decent mood, and as I walked I saw this guy standing at the corner, really good looking, dark hair, olive skin. Just cute as can be. And of course I have to walk by him to get to where I’m going, and as I walk past, he turns to me and all of a sudden is like, “Hey can I talk to you for a second?” And I don’t know why, maybe his intonation, I just knew he was trying to sell me something. And that’s exactly what I asked, “What are you selling me? You’re trying to scam me.” And his equally good looking friend turns around and is like noo noo we arent trying to scam you, don’t you want a good massage and haircut? This is a deal.” And even though I would have loved to stay and chat with two of the cutest guys who’ve spoken in my direction in a long time, I had to turn away and keep walking. But it was hard. So why is it so easy to turn away from the bum who is hungry and trying to scam me while I stop and talk easily with the cuties on the curb? Shallowness. I am shallow and I see this outward appearance as non-threatening while when I look at the beggar I see disgust and anger. Still, I was apprehensive to hand over cash, but I thought twice before turning away. But maybe it was just nice to have to good looking guys acknowledge me, on a nice day, when I felt good. Who knows, but next time I hope the cute guy who stops me on the corner isn’t trying to sell me something. Starbucks anyone? ha. 

Tina Fey and the Evanston YMCA

Tina Fey’s new movie Baby Mama opens this Friday:

and I am beyond excited to see it. I was looking up info on the new movie and stumbled across Tina Fey’s imdb profile which revealed that she used to work at a YMCA when she lived in Chicago. For those of you who don’t know me, I work at the Evanston YMCA in order to fulfill my work study requirements, so naturally I decided to see if Fey’s former employer was the Y I work at. It was. You see when Tina Fey was living in Chicago doing the whole Improv Olympics and Second City thing she lived right off the Morse stop. As she tells Eric Spitznagel in the November 2003 issue of The Believer:

TF: When I moved to Chicago in the early nineties, I shared an apartment with a female friend from college. We lived right next to the Morse el stop, which was a pretty rough neighborhood. I got a day job at the Evanston YMCA, working at the front desk. I had the worst shift imaginable. Five thirty in the morning till two in the afternoon. But I had my nights free to take classes at Second City. I used to take the el to work at four in the morning. It was just me and a bunch of Polish cleaning ladies. They were a pretty close-knit group. They all seemed to know each other. They were just coming home from their jobs, I think. I was always glad to see them because they made me feel safe. I never actually spoke to any of them, but just being near them made me feel very protected. I was convinced that they were looking out for me.

Somehow this little tidbit just makes me feel a little more proud of my job. I also play rugby for my school which takes up a lot of my time. In order to fit all of this work in I had decided that I would take the opening shift at the Y twice a week. Mind you the opening shift starts at five a.m. and I’m a college kid who doesn’t get out of practice before nine p.m. the night before. It’s been a rough semester in the sleep column, but now its kind of like a badge of honor. It’s interesting how people can be connected, a kid from Chicago and a writer/actress who she totally looks up to could share the same kind of shitty opening shift job experience right down to the cleaning ladies on the el.

Randolph St Station

Although I live in the city right now, my home will always be an hour out (by car) in the suburbs of indiana (and I will say suburbs here since we are on chicago time, we watch chicago news, we listen to chicago radio, and we are closer then some of the illinois people who say they “live in the suburbs”) on the weekends I sometimes take the South Shore home, which is probably one of my least favorite excursions since it involves a half hour bus ride just to get to the one hour train ride…anyways. I’ve been at the Randolph Station a couple times recently, once with my boyfriend and once alone. I was with my boyfriend the last time, he was heading back to good old indiana when this man walks up to us with this story that his mother had just passed away and he was trying to get home and he just needed a couple more dollars for the train ride…so my boyfriend hands over 5 bucks and the guy gives him a hug and thanks him and walks away. all very touching. I myself would never have given up the cash, but hey, whatever suits you. and my boyfriend looks at me, knowing full well that i think he should have just avoided the man, and then he says to me some very heartfelt stuff about god and the story about jesus being the poor beggar on the street and people just walk by him and things like it was only a couple bucks…but it makes me wonder. I guess i at least have a giving boyfriend (and a mind stuck on homeless people trying to steal my money). 

the time I was alone was a little different. Once you are on the South Shore on the way to Indiana, only the first 4 cars go past Gary to where I live, so I was walking through the moving train and I ended up sitting down parallel to this guy. The train was almost empty and the guy was getting off only a stop after me. he starts talking to me, asking me what I do, trying to tell me I look like I’m 23 and should go to clubs off  Stony Island with him…all this crap. (keep in mind I look like i’m 17 and am traveling alone…and I would never go to a club off Stony after my experience trying to get to University of Chicago and having guys holler at me saying stuff like “Hey Baby, where you going?” and whistling…). Anyways, that was a tangent. Then he starts asking me about school. I tell him my major, that I’m in Communication. and he then looks at me, and with complete sincerity, asks if that’s when you are taught how to talk to people who are about to commit suicide “and like jump off buildings and shit.” I almost laughed, but I explained it. And then I said i had to go to the bathroom. and i moved up a couple seats.

Sometimes I wonder where these people come from…I guess god puts them here just to give me a good laugh sometimes..

Cabbies

Monday night I took the el down to the South Loop to go meet my dad and his girlfriend for dinner and then we were to head over to the Harris Theater in Millennium Park to watch the Chicago Symphony Orchestra perform a short concert. My dad got tied up at work and we ended up running late. Logically his girlfriend, Cathy, and I thought of taking a cab. However, as Cathy pointed out my father “is fighting a one man war against cabs.” We managed to talk him into it and called a cab. As we are driving to the theater my dad begins to talk to the cab driver. Cathy and I both began to squirm in the backseat because as much as I love my father, he can be more than a little rude sometimes.

“How’s that ice cream you’re eating?” he asked.
“Oh it’s very good!”
“Got any extra, I mean it’s rude to eat in front of people”
At this point the cab driver, who had a very strong African sounding accent, looks back at Cathy and I and says:
“Oh no sir, I could never have enough for two ladies”
“What does that mean?!”
“It’s just that ladies looooooove their ice cream and it makes them soooo happy. Sir when I pulled up and saw TWO beautiful ladies, I said “alright I’ll take this job”"
“One of them is my daughter and the other one of my girlfriend”
“Oh sir you are very lucky then because they must fight over you all the time” This comment made it impossible for Cathy and I to hold in our laughter any longer, we both broke into howls of laughter and luckily had just arrived at the theater. My father, the man who was “fighting a one man war against cabs” gave our driver a 45% tip. Needless to say it was a pretty entertaining cab drive.

The Blanket

So when this assignment was given out I started to think about things that I could write about. Then I thought, I live in one of the biggest cities in the United States and yet it is so easy to feel lonely sometimes. Incidentally in my Women in Literature class we were starting to learn about the modernists and their obsession with being so isolated even when you’re surrounded by people.

So as I am thinking about this assignment one morning on my way to work, I overhear a young woman and an older man talking. He was asking her about directions somewhere and then they got on the subject of why he was visiting Chicago. He told her that he and his wife had been married 45 years and had rarely left New Jersey so they decided to take a trip to see the rest of the United States. Maybe it was just the fact that I was sleep deprived and it was a very beautiful early morning, or maybe it was the fact that I had recently broken up with someone and needed to hear people being nice to one another, but for some reason this petty conversation moved me. Isolation in the city is a very real thing, yet it is so easy to NOT be isolated. In the end we’re all human, we all have needs and desires. So why are we so hesitant to start up a friendly conversation on the el?

That’s when it occurred to me that this was something I could blog about. The little random interactions and coincidences that we normally forget about at the end of the day, but just for a minute allow us to connect with someone else. There is this scene in I Heart Huckabees in which Dustin Hoffman’s character pretty much sums up this idea of interconnectedness:

Ebert: You get two thumbs up in my heart!

Growing up, I remember movies containing the famous “Two thumbs up! Siskel and Ebert” quote. That’s how I knew the movie was good. But In the early 90s, Siskel passed away and the fate of the movie critiquing industry rested in the thumbs of one lone sole. Now I fear that it’s reaching the end for our beloved movie critic…Ebert, who has recently gone under the knife to remove cancerous cells is now unable to speak in the results of a botched surgery…. How will I know if he gives my movie a thumbs up! Fortunately, the Chicago Trib says he’ll be returning to write reviews…but what about his TV show??? I don’t know about you, but Ebert is an iconic movie critic, and while I may not always listen to him, it’s like having your annoying uncle suddenly go mute, you may not always like his input, but it’s just not the same with him gone. Ebert, hang in there…for the movie lovers in all of us.Roger Ebert with his wife Chaz(compliments of the Chicago Tribune) 

Sex[ual assault] In The City

I’m not too sure I should be surprised after skimming the local section of the Chicago Tribune and finding that half of the headlines were about sexual assaults. “City High School Basketball Couch charged in sex assault.” “Patient testifies in pediatrist’s sex assault trial.“ “Ex-Youth paster gets 4 years for sex abuse of minor.”  and on and on. It’s no wonder my mom didn’t let me ride my bike alone until I was old enough to drive a car. Right now, I can go home and enjoy the sound of my twelve year old brother complaining that he doesn’t get to do anything. His friends get to ride around on their bikes, go wherever they want without supervision, but I’m starting to understand my mother’s rationale. How can you trust the world when the world is giving you school shootings and sexual assault trials? How do you react? I mean, you can’t enjoy life if you don’t actually live…but then again, just going to school could leave you with a bullet in your head….scary thought.

Beg for booze or beg for food? The age old question

I’m sure that if you live in Chicago, or really any big city, you’ve come across a beggar, scam artist, or homeless person, looking up at you with needy eyes waiting for you to pull out your wallet and admit to them a personal defeat. Around Michigan Ave there is a particular group of wondering street people who feed on the tourists of the city, boldly walking up to any pedestrian, offering out a postcard with a picture of the glorious city printed upon it. When this first happened to me, I took the postcard because I thought it was free…but I guess that’s where they get the tourists. It’s not free, they expect some type of donation. Since that incident, I’ve learned to look past these people and keep walking when offered anything. More recently I was waiting at the Fullerton red line waiting for the L when my friend and I got into a conversation with a self proclaimed homeless man. First he got my friend to hand over a cigarette (and with prices as they are now, bumming a smoke isn’t like the old days). Next, he conned my giving friend into throwing him a couple dollars. But even when the homeless guy had $3 and a smoke, he still wasn’t content. As my friend was reaching back in his pocket, the man noticed my friend had another $5 in his pocket. And seeing this, the man tried to get my friend to “trade up” and give him the $5 instead. Unthankful? I think so. I’ve learned to just ignore these people. Giving them money doesn’t make them any better off, and I’m not trying to sound like I support social-darwinism or something, but there are plenty of shelters in the Chicagoland area that reach out to people who are down on there luck. I know, I know, homelessness in Chicago is a big problem…

While I’ve stated that I normally just turn my head when a person comes up to me asking for money, I had to stop and think last night when a woman came up to a group of friends and I and asked if we’d like to donate money to help support battered women. She sounded completely sincere, and offered a pamphlet with some information about battered women to any donator (although I never saw one of these pamphlets). My friend ended up giving her a couple dollars, and as we walked away, we began to discuss whether the woman was really in support of the cause she was stating, or whether she was just trying to guilt trip us into giving up a couple bucks. I’m sure, saying you are a battered woman will tug on the heartstrings of more than just a couple college kids…But isn’t that a sick card to play if you aren’t? With 166,000 people experiencing homelessness in Chicago, it’s hard to say.  Many sites warn about the scams of the city, but is helping the homeless a scam? It’s really hard to say. With job shortages and low income housing dwindling, staying afloat in our economy is harder then it seems. And maybe giving these guys a couple dollars is dumb, I sure as hell am not going to be the person to pull out my wallet, but maybe the city needs to think of more ways to help the people on the streets.  and with all this in mind. i’d like to part with the following video….